In Episode #33 of the podcast (When You Lose Yourself in Relationships), I mentioned that when someone feels like they’re losing themselves in a relationship it could be a sign of love addiction. Love addiction is a serious form of codependency where one person places such a high value on another person (partner, friend, family member, etc.) that the relationship… Continue Reading…
What are Non-Negotiable Boundaries?
Non-negotiable boundaries are a very specific type of limit you set—either regarding your physical body or in a relationship. Non-negotiable boundaries are best thought of as hard stops or deal-breakers. They are boundaries around which you are not willing to negotiate or compromise. There are two types of non-negotiable boundaries: Non-negotiable personal boundaries Non-negotiable relationship boundaries Physical and sexual boundaries… Continue Reading…
The 2 Functions of Boundaries
Personal and relationship boundaries, as parameters and limits, serve two primary functions: 1 Boundaries Create Safety There are two ways that boundaries create safety. The first is when you protect yourself from other people’s unconscious, boundary-less, or offensive behavior. The second way boundaries create safety is when you protect others from your inappropriate or boundary-less behavior. When you are protecting… Continue Reading…
Myths & Misperceptions About Boundaries
Boundaries are often seen as punishment carried out by rigid, uptight or selfish people. They’re too often thought of as harsh, cold or uncaring. Because boundaries create limits, they’re seen as repressive or restricting personal freedom. One of the biggest misconceptions about boundaries is that they allow one person to tell another person what they can or cannot do. In a parent-child… Continue Reading…
Boundaries 101
Learning about and practicing healthy personal and relationship boundaries is challenging, especially if you grew up in a family that didn’t know how boundaries work. The fundamentals of good boundary work are complex because they’re fluid—meaning they are different in different relationships, and at different stages of your life. For example, the kind of boundaries you establish with a toddler are… Continue Reading…
4 Reasons Boundaries ≠ Bitchy
Let’s face it, there is nothing exciting, intriguing, and definitely nothing sexy about personal boundaries. Most people’s first response to hearing the word is typically an (invisible) eye-roll or an audible “Ugh.” A few years ago when I was talking to a friend about wanting to write a book about boundaries,* she said: “Whatever you do, don’t call it ‘Boundaries’!” I… Continue Reading…