If you haven’t heard last week’s episode yet, I recommend listening to that one too if you’re interested in this exploration of the talking boundary. In that episode, I covered what the talking boundary is, and what talking boundary violations look like. This time, I’ll move into what it looks like when you have a healthy, effective talking boundary. I’ll also share some questions to ask yourself to help ensure your talking boundary is in great shape.
Biggest Takeaways From Episode #133:
- The first way to use a healthy talking boundary is to say what you would like or what you want, instead of saying what the other person did that you didn’t like.
- Another important way to use your talking boundary in a healthy way is to lead with agreement. Mastering your listening boundary will also help you develop a strong, healthy talking boundary.
- Here are some questions to ask yourself when you’re using the talking boundary:
- Is the other person in a position to really hear me and take in what I’m saying?
- What response do I expect to get from this person?
- Do I need to speak my truth regardless of the response?
- Can I express what I want to say in a way that’s completely about me?
- Would it be better if I waited for 24 hours to say what I want to say?
Highlights from Episode #133:
- Did you catch last week’s episode? This one continues the exploration of the talking boundary that Vicki started then. [00:39]
- Vicki shares some thoughts on the question behind the question, “Are talking boundary violations verbal abuse?” [04:09]
- We learn the first way to use a healthy talking boundary, with Vicki offering an example from her own life. [07:27]
- Vicki offers some general questions to ask yourself before you speak. [13:07]
- It’s important to think of what your intention is before you express yourself, Vicki points out. [23:47]
- Leading with agreement is the second way to use a healthy talking boundary. [26:36]
- We learn about how one-word responses (or even silence) can work. [29:24]
- Vicki explains that mastering the listening boundary is the best way to strengthen your talking boundary. [32:15]
Links and Resources:
- Vicki’s monthly Boundaries Clarifier Workshops
- Vicki Tidwell Palmer
- Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Facebook
- Moving Beyond Betrayal by Vicki Tidwell Palmer
- 5-Step Boundary Solution Clarifier
- Vicki Tidwell Palmer on Instagram
- The Radiant Threefold Path
- Beyond Bitchy on Spotify
- Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode #37 – The Listening Boundary Part I
- Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode #39 – The Listening Boundary Part 2: How It Works
- Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode #40 – The Listening Boundary Part 3: High Quality Listening = Higher Quality Responses
- Beyond Bitchy Podcast | Episode #132 – She Said What?! Part I of A Deeper Dive Into the Talking Boundary